I really didn’t want to write about this so as not to be seen as rude, but I really want to help some people be better communicators. The title should have been five reasons why ‘I’ avoid chatting with certain people, but let’s not make this personal now.
It’s quite unfortunate that people don’t know how to talk these days. Social Media has made it too easy and too cheap and too shallow.
You’ll preferably text someone on whatsapp than actually have a genuine conversation, face to face where you can see the person’s facial expression.
Talking to someone in person obviously involves more work, there’s no emojis to hide behind, if you’re not laughing, you’re not laughing. You can’t likewise express yourself in short hand, and there’s no predictive text to correct your words.
Ei! Pondering about it now, it’s serious, when there is an awkward pause, you can’t leave your phone or go chat with someone else, you will have to live through that moment and figure out how to come out of it.
So, I’m not about to preach to you about meeting people and having real conversations, I’ve already done that here (http://wp.me/p5Yv2I-o6) you can click the link and read about it.
But this is for you who like to chat with individuals on whatsapp, Facebook, and the likes.
Particularly when you are trying to get to know the person, or it’s your first time texting.
Alright, let me be honest with you, this is more for guys, because herh!! Some of you guys don’t know how to effectively chat with a girl.
Here’s my 5 reasons why people (girls) avoid chatting with you.
You want to get to know someone and you send the one word Hi, and say nothing after that, that’s not enough to get anyone’s attention. Unless the person is so less busy, they are looking for someone to chat with.
When you are chatting with someone, imagine you are talking to the person in real life. Will you walk up to someone you don’t know and just say hi then nothing? When you think of it this way, you will see how creepy you look on whatsapp.
So, the right thing is to say hi and then introduce yourself.
‘Hi, my name is Steve. I saw your profile on Facebook, and I think you’re pretty interesting. I hope you don’t mind but I will like to get to know you better.’ This is more likely to get anyone’s attention than just ‘Hi’. And it also puts the person at ease when you introduce yourself, you don’t want to appear as a creep or psychopath.
2. GM or Goodmorning.
Hmmm, first of all, we agree it’s a good morning, but please what are we to do with GM? If you have introduced yourself to someone and there’s been a flow. Don’t send Gm the next morning and stop there. Look it’s irritating and nobody has time to respond to such messages. Just say what you want to say.
‘Goodmorning, I hope you slept well, I was wondering if you will like to meet up today. ‘ or if you really don’t have a purpose for texting, you can try ‘Goodmorning, I just wanted to say hi, have a blessed day.’ It’s more likely to get the person to say ‘Thank you, and you too.’ You get it now?
3. Your shorthand writing disability
This to me is the killer of conversations. Don’t get me wrong, some people don’t mind chatting with you in short hand, but that’s the problem, they are just like you.
There’s no way you’ll chat with a sophisticated person in shorthand. It’s a complete turn off. If you do so, repent now!!
Folks, the reason why your English is bad and you can’t write letters anymore is because of this disability, Shorthand. What is shorthand? Who invented it? The person needs to be shot.
I used to write in short hand a zillion years ago, but I repented, you can also stop. Once you start writing in short hand, it immediately puts you in a category D, maybe E koraa.
When people chat with me in short hand, if I like you, I’ll tell you to write in full English, if I don’t, well you know what happens.
4. Asking Closed Ended Questions
There’s something in English Grammer called Open and Closed Ended Questions. Closed ended questions require a ‘Yes or No’ answer, and Open Ended questions require you to answer more than Yes or No; so asking open ended questions allows room for more conversation.
Closed Ended Question – ‘Will you go out today? ‘
Yes or No
Open Ended Question -‘ What are you doing today? ‘
I’ll be indoors mostly, relaxing, but then I’ ll go to church in the evening. ‘
‘ Oh so you like church, what do you do in church? ‘
You see, it leads to more conversation, yes or no questions lead to a dead end. The person will be moving on to someone more interesting.
5. You are too forward.
Simply put, you’re impertinent, presumptuous and intrusive.
You should know when to ask certain questions. I believe most people especially girls will appreciate it when you know when to cut it. Don’t ask too personal questions especially when the person is not ready to answer them.
You can’t start chatting with someone and ask, do you have a beloved? Why not? What happened? You get the picture now, I’m sure you’re squeezing your face at the thought of such questions.
Please, friendship, trust, intimacy, takes time to build, don’t try to run when you’re supposed to walk.
I always appreciate a natural flow of friendship, some of you want to force it, take it easy.
There are loads of other reasons, like no humor, being too formal, too spiritual if you know what I mean, but these points just get to me like an itching rash.
Do comment below and let me know if you agree with my reasons, and what your reasons for avoiding chatting with someone are.
And here’s a link to some articles I found helpful on how to talk to start a conversation with someone. You will find it useful trust me.